"No Yanky My Wanky!"

After many, many weeks, the Christmas kitten finally has a name.

Introducing . . .  Jake Ryan!!  

"Jake Ryan?  He's only the most popular boy in school."

Urban Dictionary defines Jake Ryan as "the name used by women to describe the perfect boyfriend."  Or, in this case, the perfect kitten.

"Jake is a senior, and he's beautiful and perfect."

Kitten Jake Ryan manages to be cute even without the plaid shirt or the hair gel.  Like the real Jake Ryan, Kitten Jake Ryan is charming and suave.  He gives hugs and Eskimo kisses.  He also wakes me up at 5:30 am by pawing at my hair, and he has been known to drink from the toilet, but, hey, what is "perfect"??

Jake Ryan has other wonderful qualities.  For example, he loves Christmas:

But he has no patience for girls who behave like princesses:

He may not drive a red Porsche or live in a big house in Highland Park or get my underwear back from a geek, but the chicks clearly dig him:

"Jake Ryan?  He doesn't even know you exist."

Yep, just like the real Jake Ryan.