Still blogging with my three co-bloggers! Each week, one of us chooses a topic and we all post a blog entry on that topic, usually on Thursdays. (Usually we are on time. Usually. Ok, mostly. Sometimes? Don’t judge me.)
Here are the links to the other fabulous blogs:
This week, Moma Rock chose, and she asked us to write about life’s frustrations.
Moma Rock suggested the topic during a messaging session between Merryland Girl, Moma Rock, and me. We were venting about various stressors with which we were dealing at the time. Our issues were different, but our frustrations were the same. Moma Rock smartly thought it might be helpful to write about them.
Funny enough, the main frustration on my plate right now is one I’m not at liberty to talk about at the moment . . . which is really, really frustrating. So, there’s one for you: I become quite frustrated when I am not able to express myself. I’m a verbal processor, and I work through problems by talking and even writing about them. When I can’t, I literally feel like I’m going to burst. I feel, well, frustrated.
Since I can’t discuss that source of frustration, I sat down and thought about other things that generally frustrate me, and why.
Here’s one (and it massively underlies the “thing” I can’t write about right now): I become frustrated when I can’t control a situation. I don’t mean that in a general sense; I accept that much of life is out of my control, particularly the actions of others. For the most part, that’s okay because, for the most, part, other people’s actions and choices don’t affect me all that much. But when they do, and when I cannot do anything about it, I get extremely frustrated. I’m talking about those times when I need someone to communicate with me, but she doesn’t. Or when I can’t do my part in something until someone else does his part, and he doesn’t. If someone’s work ethic does not match mine, I can feel the frustration rise. In those situations, I want to make something happen and I cannot, and I hate it.
I’ve also come to realize that I absolutely hate when someone comes to me for advice or input and then I later realize – usually after spending a good chunk of time talking to the person – that they never really wanted my advice but instead were merely seeking my approval. This almost always happens in situations where my approval would not be readily forthcoming. I end up feeling manipulated and like I’ve wasted my time. And, of course, I feel frustrated.
Then, too, I’ve discovered that I get very frustrated when I want to help someone, but I cannot. I hate seeing anyone in pain or distress, and when I cannot fix the situation, I become not only sad, but also frustrated. I’m a fixer at heart, and to stand back helpless feels like torture. Again, I suppose this is a control issue, but in a good way. I want control so I can take care and solve the problem. But I know that’s not always possible.
Not surprisingly, I handle frustration by verbally processing it. I complain, I vent, I talk it out. Eventually, I feel better, I guess, at least until the next time. I’m working on letting more things roll off my back, but I’m a work in progress.
And, of course, the fact it’s taking so long to learn to calm down a bit? Is totally frustrating me.