Random Look Inside My Brain #1

                Me (flipping through channel guide):  Nothing on, nothing on, nothing on – Oooh!  One-hour “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” season finale!  Awesome!

Pause.

Me:  What the hell is wrong with me? 

Cut to fifty-five minutes later:

Me:  Please, please, please show Bruce’s new haircut!!  And his piercings!  I wonder if Kris and the girls will like his hair?!?!

Pause.

Me:  Really, what the hell is wrong with me??

Two minutes later:

Me:  What is Khloe wearing on her head?  Does she believe she is a princess or is that her Halloween costume?  Wait, why are the credits rolling?  Is it over?  It can’t be over!!

Brief pause.

Me:  For the love of all that is holy, what is wrong with me?!?!

Pause.  Grab for remote and quickly hit the channel guide.

Me:  Damn, I can’t believe they’re not rebroadcasting this episode tonight.  I wonder if “Real Housewives” is on.

Bruce Jenner Was a Quarterback ... Wasn't He?

Bears/Packers game, Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon?  Bears/Packers game, Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon?  Bears/Packers game ....

I think we all know how this ends.

Things I Like Way More Than I Should

• Peanut Butter M&Ms
• The Kardashians
• Watching people fall down
• Watching people I know fall down
• Airplane turbulence
• Any television show with the words “Real Housewives of” in the title
• Correcting other people’s grammar
• Reading about serial killers
• “Lifetime” movies
• “Lifetime” movies about serial killers
• Bob Uecker
• Ambien
• Dr. Drew (See that?  Right there?  Is irony.)
• Baby talking to my three cats
• Answering for my three cats
• My mannequin, Leticia Beavers

So that's a little about me.  Now tell me about yourselves ...